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  He stood looking at her, as if he were trying to put the puzzle pieces together. “But I heard him on the phone today with the Portland people, talking about moving his research labs. And you do not know this?”

  “Oh, Vincente, there must be something lost in translation here. That’s absolutely not happening.” Her mind caught up to his words, and she felt a chill. No researcher she had ever known was casual about the location of his or her labs. Was Arthur really on this road, without her?

  As they stood looking at each other, more questions looming, Tom rang the dinner bell. “Get it while it’s hot: pizza pie, fresh from the oven.”

  The moment passed. They put on their game faces and rallied for Tom’s dinner, although now Jess wasn’t quite so hungry.

  After Tom left to study with a classmate, Jess and Vincente had a long conversation over a bottle of wine. He told her more about what he had heard and said it was an open discussion among Arthur’s lab staff.

  In a broken whisper, she asked, “Then why isn’t it an open discussion with me, Vincente?” As her tears began to fall in the darkened room, she added, “Why not talk to me?”

  “My dear Jess, I do not know,” he said, taking her hand in his. “I can tell you what I do know: Arthur’s not happy right now. He seems distracted to me, and perhaps a bit down. Is that how you say ‘depressed’? Not his usual self. You must know this, yes?”

  “Yes, down and moody, too. I didn’t know it was evident at work, though. Of course, he may be letting you in a little, as you’re such a good friend. Is he this way in the lab as well?”

  “Not so much with everyone. I think Joan, his research assistant, sees it. But, Jess, I need to tell you that I’ve asked him questions about this and do not believe he’s thinking very clearly about this move. When I asked him why, he said he’s tired of the political mess of the merger. He wants a new start, with people he can trust. When I asked him about what this means for your family, he would not talk. He would not say anything. He just looked very sad.”

  “How can he be anything but sad when he’s keeping this secret from us, from me?” She sobbed. “It’s all my fault. I never should have agreed to work on this merger. What was I thinking? How could I put that much pressure on both of us?”

  “Long marriages survive many obstacles, and you and Arthur have a strong one. I’m sure when you talk together, you will figure this out.”

  “Thank you, Vincente. I have to believe that. But I fear it’s too late . . .”

  “Ah, Jess, it’s never too late when the heart is involved. Sylvia and I have been married for thirty-one years and have been through some, how can I say, difficulties. She left me for a time.” When Jess looked up in surprise, he said, “You did not know that. So I am able to speak to you from experience. It’s not too late. When I leave tomorrow, you will no longer have a houseguest in your way. Go to Arthur, and have the conversation you need to have. Will you do that for me?”

  “No, dear Vincente, I’ll do that for me!” Jess rose from the chair, leaning on him to keep her balance. She was so sleepy from all the emotions and the wine that she barely made it to her bed before she fell fast asleep. She awoke just enough when Arthur came home to peek at the clock and wonder where he had been until one a.m.

  Chapter 13

  Arthur looked up at her sheepishly the next morning as Jess came down for coffee, feeling drained after the night before. “Did you get any sleep? You came to bed very late. What were you up to?” She went to hug him, but he was stiff like a board and didn’t respond.

  “Can we have a check-in tonight?” she asked. She was still attempting the awkward hug, not giving him an inch to move into that untouchable place he liked to hide of late. The one conscious thought she’d had before she’d fallen asleep the previous night was that she could no longer let him go there.

  Vincente came into the room, took in the scene, and said, “Yes, yes. You should catch up tonight. Your guest is finally leaving you. Jess, I believe we had too much wine last night.” He touched his temples and asked, “Do you have some aspirin around here somewhere?” He grabbed a cup and got some coffee.

  Arthur came to, as if from a trance, and was all charm. “You two—a bit too much wine? And you ate almost all the pizza! Fortunately, Tom hid a piece for me with exact instructions for warming it up, and I just had it for breakfast. It was really delicious. Vincente, you’re making a proper cook of him. And I get the benefit. Seems a good trade-off for a guest stay once a year or so. You know we love having you. When is your flight, again? Can I give you a lift to the airport?”

  “I wouldn’t think of imposing on you in the middle of the day, Arthur. You are too gracious. I’ll arrange for a taxi. No problem at all.” Vincente took the two aspirin Jess proffered. “And I’m all packed and ready to go into the lab with you whenever you are.” He gave Jess a warm hug and a wink and said his goodbyes.

  Before they left, Jess said, “Arthur, I think Tom has to stay late at school tonight. Are you willing to let me cook? I know it’s a comedown after both Vincente and Tom have spoiled us this week, but I feel like making something. Can I entice you home by six for a good meal?”

  It took him a bit too long to respond. She detected a mix of sheepishness and suspicion in his glance toward Vincente. “Of course. You know I love your cooking. I’ll absolutely be home by six. See you then.” He gave her a quick kiss and headed out with Vincente in tow.

  Jess took a pork tenderloin out of the freezer and made sure she had cream, dried apricots, and quinoa. She whispered a quick prayer of thanks that she didn’t have to try to fit shopping into her day. It was not a running day, but she needed to talk to Claire. And today she really did have meetings to see to and deadlines to meet, and oh my God, she really had a hangover. Fortunately, she had made a decision that she thought would make things easier.

  After a busy morning, she ran over to Claire’s office with takeout salads during her only open slot that day and filled Claire in on the strange meeting with Dick. She knew that Claire would find it interesting, so she exaggerated the putdowns and the ultimatum a bit, but not too much. Dick really did fit the stereotype of a sexist male.

  Claire guffawed at the demand he had made. “That’s unbelievable. Does he think you, the little woman, can just put her foot down and keep her man from making Dick’s life difficult, and by doing so keep her job? My God, he didn’t even offer you something! And you don’t work for him; you work for Dan. What a blatant power play!”

  Claire pulled open a drawer from her credenza, pulled out fancy napkins and real cutlery, and put the plastic forks back in the takeout bag. “These salads look good. Let’s sit over here so we can have some privacy.” She gestured toward the corner conference area, which was less visible from the busy corridor outside her office.

  “It really is a crazy, wrongheaded power play. I knew you’d enjoy hearing about it. But, Claire, I’ve reached a decision. I’m going to let it go and work on my marriage. I know this whole thing has gotten out of whack; I set up these barriers between Arthur and me because of the conflicts, and that isn’t fair to him.” Jess picked at her salad. “I know now how large this merger looms in his mind, and depriving him of the chance to talk to me about it has been totally unfair of me. I so regret it.”

  “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Claire stopped eating and looked directly at her friend. “I think there’s a way you could call Dick’s bluff and embarrass him enough to continue. It would be a tough game to play, but I hate to see him getting away with something so outrageous.”

  “You’re right. I know I could get Dick to back down, and it would be fun to see him squirm a bit. But just because I could doesn’t mean I should. And the bottom line is, I need to get out of my current role and be Arthur’s wife. That’s what he needs right now. So why play the game to win and then lose everything anyway?” Jess finished her water and pushed her half-eaten salad away.

  “I knew there was a reason I never ma
rried. I’m way too self-centered. I appreciate your position, Jess, and if that’s what your heart is telling you to do, I applaud you for your sacrifice. But it makes me damn mad. You shouldn’t have to do that. You don’t have to do that.”

  “Claire, I’ve made up my mind. Please don’t be disappointed in me. My family is what matters most. Keeping it intact is my life’s objective, not having a line or two on a résumé that I can brag about. This feels right, not just to my heart but to my head.”

  Jess thanked Claire for her support and left her office. She felt lighter now that she had made the decision and shared it out loud with someone she knew did not agree. Claire was driven, and so was Jess. But Jess was battle tested, after years of personal havoc. She knew when to fight and when to withdraw, and she intuitively felt that now was the time to regroup with her loved ones and be strong. She could fight other battles another day. She had been up against sexism in her career for so long that it didn’t surprise her anymore. The blatant example—sleeping with the boss—was easily avoided under any circumstances. More subtle had been a situation when she’d discovered that one of her male colleagues had taken credit for her work and won a promotion for it. And then there was the female friend who’d elbowed Jess aside to get close to a powerful man and then used her sexuality for personal gain.

  This standoff with Dick was just another chapter from the same book. When she had started her own consulting business, Jess had been able to control the environment from the top down, but she knew from Claire’s and Diane’s stories that this kind of bad behavior was still common.

  She finished her day and went home to prepare dinner. She was drinking lots of water, and her hangover seemed to be subsiding. But no wine tonight! It was just as well. Arthur didn’t drink much, and she needed to be clearheaded to determine what was going on with him and what that meant for them as a couple.

  He was home by five forty-five, and, since the tenderloin was still roasting, she invited him to take a short walk around the neighborhood. Although it was nearly dark, the weather was mild as they strolled through the streets, watching all the lights in the houses go on while families gathered for the evening. He still felt distant, and so, although she wanted to take his hand, she held herself back and focused instead on trying to relax. “It’s been awhile since we took an evening walk. Nice, isn’t it?” she said.

  “You’ve been just as busy as I have.”

  “Hey, I know. It’s just nice, that’s all. Nice to spend time together. We should do it more often.” She was about to raise the question of the mission trip together, when a neighbor pulled into the driveway in front of them and they stopped to talk a bit.

  When they got home, she lit the patio lanterns and served dinner outside. They chatted about the kids over dinner. Arthur was still somewhat distracted, but she needed to get the conversation started, so she said, “Vincente told me that you talked with the Portland people yesterday about specs for your new lab. That really surprised me. I thought that was off the table.” Jess kept her voice light and passed him the vegetables.

  He didn’t say anything, so she went on. “I want you to know that if you want to go to Portland, we’ll make it work. Now that Tom is so close to graduating and going off to college, there’s no reason you and I couldn’t make a move. Actually, it would be fun to start a new chapter in a new place. I’ve always loved the Pacific Northwest. Depending on when you had to go, I could stay here with Tom until he’s settled at college, and then we could sell here and buy there.” She kept looking at Arthur as she rambled on, but he still didn’t respond, just looked at her with a sad face. She put her fork down, pushed her chair back, and pulled herself up tall.

  “Arthur, I’m quitting the merger.” She didn’t go into the ultimatum story; she said simply, “I’ve decided it’s too much. So from now on, I’ll just be working with my own clients and on other projects for Dan. I don’t like what it’s done to us, and I’m sorry that I’ve not been here for you as you’ve needed me. I know that it’s been impossible to talk to me about work, and I want to be available to support you as we move forward, wherever that is.”

  He had stopped eating and wasn’t even looking at her anymore but staring into some foreign space. “What are you thinking? Talk to me, Arthur.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this now.”

  “But we need to. It’s driving a wedge between us. I realize now that I should never have agreed to work on this merger. Things will be different if I’m not working on it like before, don’t you see?”

  “I really don’t want to talk about this now,” he repeated. He stood up and started putting dishes on a tray. And, raising his voice, he added, “It’s really best if we don’t talk about this now.”

  She stood, too, grabbing his arm, and said, “Dick wants me to influence you to stay here. Tomorrow I’m going to tell him to go to hell. My personal life is not negotiable.”

  With that, Arthur shook her off and turned on her. “I don’t really care what you do, Jess. If I decide to go to Portland, I plan to go alone.”

  She barely noticed him leave the patio, and this time, she didn’t call after him. She simply went into the den, folded herself into her favorite chair, closed her eyes, and thought, After all these years, is it really going to end like this? And over a merger? It has to be about more than that.

  Chapter 14

  Jess caught Dan early the next morning and beckoned him into her office before the day got lost. “I wanted to let you know that I met with Dick.”

  “Oh.” His eyebrows shot up. “How did it go?” “Well, no surprise to me, he was pressuring you to keep me off the merger. He wants me to influence Arthur against taking a position elsewhere. The surprise is that he was so blatant about it.”

  “What do you mean? What did he say to you?” Dan leaned toward her.

  “He told me he can’t count on my loyalty unless I do what I can to keep Arthur in St. Louis.”

  Jess watched Dan carefully to see what his reaction would be. She wanted to believe he was one of the good guys and that he’d been honest about not knowing what Dick was up to. But she’d been around awhile and knew how some business deals got done.

  “What a bastard that guy is,” he responded quickly, pounding his fist on the table. “You know, when we initially talked about this and you commented that you thought that might be the reason, I hadn’t given that any thought. It’s so overtly sexist. Unbelievable!”

  Dan fixed his gaze on the cityscape for a moment, then looked back at Jess. “Are you sure? Is there any way you could be mistaken about his intent?”

  “No. He put it in very plain language. I even challenged his thinking a bit by pointing out that one physician didn’t make or break a major deal like this. But Dick said that since Arthur is a leading influencer, he could start something that might snowball.”

  “Good God. How much research support does Arthur bring in anyway—millions?” Dan asked. “Is it a National Institutes of Health grant, or where’s it coming from?”

  They discussed the arcane business of haves and have-nots in academic-research circles. How once someone was established, it was so much easier to draw in new money. This made things hard for young scientists, even if they had brilliant ideas. It was as limiting a bureaucracy as any, amid all the political jockeying that occurred.

  Dan sighed deeply. “It’s a stretch, but I guess I can see where the guy is coming from. Dick has bet the farm on the merger coming together and must want to make sure there are no loose ends. But this seems a bit desperate, and it’s clearly unfair. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s illegal.” Dan was gazing out the window again, seeming to gather his thoughts. “I can’t approach him about it from that angle, but I can call him out for being an ass, and I will.” He straightened up and looked directly at Jess.

  She smiled warmly at him. “You know the client does get to have the team he wants, and he’s the client.” She paused, then added slowly, “I really don’t h
ave the energy to fight this now, although I appreciate that you’re in my corner.”

  She looked down at her hands, playing with her wedding ring. “You may not want to hear all of this, but this whole merger project, and my involvement, and Arthur’s position—it’s been difficult for us as a couple. At this point, I want to leave the project. It’s best for me personally.”

  She paused to clear her throat and control her emotions. When she looked up, Dan’s face was rigid. He picked up his office phone and dialed a number. “Amy, get Dick Morrison on the phone ASAP.”

  Jess joined him at her desk. “Please don’t. You’re a good friend, but I don’t want you to take a bullet for me. Don’t risk the project. Besides, it’s late to be making too many changes. My lead people know what they’re doing. The plan is all laid out, and I know they’ll do well.”

  Just then, Dan’s cell phone dinged with an incoming-text alert, and they both looked out the glass doorway to see the leadership team gathering in the conference room across the hall.

  “Looks like it’s time for the meeting,” Dan said. “But, Jess, please don’t be too hasty in making your decision. Now that we know what Dick is up to, let him wait; I can put him off for a while.” He stood up to switch gears and looked around the office. “Is there potpourri or something in here? I smell something I can’t quite identify, something really good.”

  “Uh, that would be the lingering aroma of the cinnamon roll I inhaled before you walked in.”

  “Oh, I remember how you love your cinnamon rolls!” They both laughed.

  As they neared the door, Dan hesitated until Jess looked directly at him. “Please take some time with this. Whatever your decision is, I’ll support you. Your clients need you. The firm needs you.” He paused at the door, his voice quieting to little more than a whisper. “But I understand how you feel about family. So do what you feel you must do. There will always be work for you to do here. You know that.”